Forewarning for my Diabolical Illness

I have a disease. It’s unidentifiable and highly contagious. Sleep has become unattainable, and my thoughts ceaselessly perpetuate my mind until my brain becomes a bowl of mush. It isn’t insomnia, and I know it isn’t anxiety. Being a Gen Z child, I eagerly jump into Google to reveal the diagnosis of this diabolic curse.

Within milliseconds, a collection of bold, blocky letters skew across my screen. I click on the top link. My first concern is that this seemingly reputable article uses Impact as its font selection. How dare they? Who designed this site with the most basic stylistic approach (sorry for those who disagree, but this is a massive disgrace)?

After throwing a mental temper tantrum, I finally discovered the painstaking illness that runs through my bones: Obsessive Advertising Disorder (OAD), otherwise pronounced as “odd.” It’s a personality disorder characterized by an agonizing advertising addiction.

As suggested, all of my symptoms align seamlessly:

• Headache after one day of no ideation;

• sleeplessness after two days of no drawing OR writing;

• and angelic singing whenever a concept is ready for execution

I would be embarrassed by these symptoms, but I’m too much of an addict to let them go. Stay safe out there, and prepare yourself for the future. If this illness gains even more traction, the next addict could be lurking around your neighbor’s corner.